


team unicorn (or: bob bryar is still not a werewolf)

by weesaw



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Unicorns, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-12
Updated: 2010-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-13 04:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weesaw/pseuds/weesaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is an au of my nano au, but basically: mcr thinks bob is a werewolf. bob thinks everyone else is deranged. this is a more realistic au though, cos in this one mikey's a unicorn :D</p>
            </blockquote>





	team unicorn (or: bob bryar is still not a werewolf)

"is there any lore about werewolves and unicorns fighting?" gerard whispered.

ray looked around, but there was no one else in the room. "why are we whispering?" he whispered back.

"just answer the question!" gerard hissed.

"i don't know!" ray said. "i mean, i've never done any particular research on it, and i've never seen it come up, but that doesn't mean there isn't any. why?"

gerard looked back and forth shiftily. "no reason!" he chirped as he ran away.

 

\-----

 

frank crept up behind gerard, hoping he was up to something fun on his laptop. he was searching "are werewolves and unicorns enemies" on google and slowly scrolling through the list of websites. "what are you looking up now?" frank asked suddenly.

"uewfwahhhh!" gerard flailed, nearly dropping his laptop on the floor. it wouldn't have been the first victim of frank's creepster habits or gerard's flailing, but they had promised ray they wouldn't break anything else until they were done recording this album.

"i thought we were done researching. are we worried about unicorns now too?" his eyes lit up. "are they allied with the vampires?" he asked excitedly.

"don't be ridiculous," gerard said with a scowl.

"well don't worry about it anyway. i'm pretty sure bob could take a unicorn in a fight." gerard blanched. "don't tell me you're siding with the unicorns." gerard closed his laptop and started to walk away. "they killed tonks!" frank called after him.

gerard turned and snapped, "she had it coming!" then all but ran away.

 

\-----

 

"aren't you the least bit concerned?" gerard asked worriedly. he was hovering behind the couch, wringing his hands and pacing.

"no," mikey said, not looking up from the text message he was sending.

"but if--!" gerard tried to protest.

"it's bob," mikey told him flatly. "it's not gonna be a problem."

"but when--!"

mikey finally looked up from his phone. "i've been a unicorn this whole time and he hasn't eaten me. give him the benefit of the doubt."

"but he's a WEREWOLF!" gerard flailed. "they HATE unicorns!"

"and stop being speciesist," mikey replied.

 

\-----

 

"so we think you should leave the band," gerard concluded.

"because i'm a werewolf?" bob asked.

"yes."

"but i'm not a werewolf."

"oh, right, of COURSE you're not a werewolf!" gerard replied with a wink. "we can just say it was creative differences."

"but i'm NOT a WEREWOLF!" bob yelled.

gerard moved so the couch was between them. "we've read conflicting reports on whether or not extreme emotions can induce a change," he apologized.

"BUT I'M-- no, you know what, never mind," bob said between deep breaths. "fine. fine. see you around."

"we love you despite your furry little problem, bob bryar! we're just team unicorn, is all!" gerard called after him.

**Author's Note:**

> written for national unicorn appreciation day 2010. thanks to brilligspoons for reading it over and appreciating my personal brand of crazy ♥


End file.
